I made it full circle, this morning thankfully. Wasn't sure I'd ever arrive with the torment that was plaguing me. Nothing as simple, or complicated, as um, shoot. Can't keep the flow going, but I can see the signs. End of the world actually, so there.
Anyway, the book I reached for that showed me full circle was Streams in the Desert, a gift from a homeschooler. Actually, it was a condolence gift from an ex-friend, to make it more complicated but meaningful.